


so close to magic

by dingletragedy



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M, fiancés!!!!!, post proposal fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:08:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29063340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dingletragedy/pseuds/dingletragedy
Summary: Everyone always says that you’ll know when you’ve found the one. Ben never really believed them, though, because he’d kind of just assumed he’d end up alone; nothing but a night here and night there. But the moment his hand shook Callum’s in the Queen Vic that day, he knew. The moment he kissed Callum under the stars, he knew. The moment he gave up everything he’d ever know for a life of warmth and softness, he knew.And he knows now.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 32
Kudos: 111





	so close to magic

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!!! this is just a bunch of plotless fluff tbh but how could i NOT write anything after last nights crazy perfect episode!!!! Ahhhh they’re FIANCÉS 😙 x

There's a gentleness about the way the world works at four in the morning. But inside Ben’s heart, there’s a fire blazing. 

Outside, the showering rain has finally calmed to a soft mist, spritzing the window with tiny drops. The streetlight catches it, creates a monochrome dazzlement of navy blue shapes, dark shadows clinging to the corners of the room, lighter tones brushing almost silver over the crinkles in the blankets and the tips of their noses.

Ben’s been awake for the best part of an hour now, the pull of sleep is stinging his eyes, but he refuses to give in. Callum sleeps on his belly beside him, with his head nestled beneath Ben’s raised arm, face tucked away and pressed into the crook of Ben’s neck, his feet hang off the edge of the mattress. 

Ben takes the quiet moment to reflect back on his life; ten years ago, five years ago, _yesterday_. Not all of his memories are good ones. Memories of his Mum leaving him, the one unwavering constant he’d had for years. He has memories of people dying, _Paul, Denny,_ too many to count, and how scared and alone he’d felt for so long. He has memories of breaking Callum’s heart, and his own in the process. But shining through all of that is the thread of the most brilliant boy, and all he has to offer, his silver lining: _Callum_. 

He loves him so desperately he burns with it. 

_(That used to scare Ben; love, but it doesn’t anymore. Nothing scares him with Callum by his side.)_

Looking back, barely a year ago, none of _this_ really felt possible. Ben wanted it to be, so desperately. He'd begged to god or whoever it is in charge of the universe to just let Ben have this one, to let Ben keep Callum just a little while longer. It didn’t have to be forever, he didn’t believe in that—all Ben asked for was enough time to feel Callum’s love. He didn’t realise it, at the time, that even _forever_ wasn’t enough. 

Not now forever is promised. Etched in a bunch of roses and multiple failed proposals. 

Everyone always says that you’ll know when you’ve found the _one_. Ben never really believed them, though, because he’d kind of just assumed he’d end up alone; nothing but a night here and night there. But the moment his hand shook Callum’s in the Queen Vic that day, he knew. The moment he kissed Callum under the stars, _he knew_. The moment he gave up everything he’d ever know for a life of warmth and softness, he knew. _And he knows now._

Callum looks like he’s still asleep but Ben knows that he isn’t. The corner of his mouth keeps twitching slightly, that little quirk he tries to dampen when he’s remembering something funny, something that makes him happy, and Ben also knows that’s exactly what he’s doing. He knows, because that’s what he’s thinking about, too. 

_Happiness._ The pair of them, stood freezing on that balcony, promises of forever tumbling from their lips, crashing together in a mirage of reds and blues. _Happiness,_ their hands clasped together, Lexi beaming up at them with a smile brighter than any firework ever could be. _Happiness_ , Ben’s head on Callum’s shoulder, Callum’s lips on his forehead. 

“I can hear you fidgeting,” Callum murmurs, all sleep-thick as he sits up, sheets puddled on his hips. His knuckles brush against Ben’s hip as he shifts, their limbs are so slow and the touch is barely even there, just a soft patch of momentary warmth. Yet still, Ben’s fingers curl up a little all on their own, a tingle settling in the tips; _electric_. 

“Sorry,” Ben whispers, smiling impossibly wider as Callum leans further into him. “I just couldn’t sleep. Not in a bad way.” 

He turns and meets Callum’s lips blindly, lets himself be pushed back against the pillows. Pins and needles tickle at the back of his neck.

“Hello,” Callum says, breathed in the space between them. He runs his tongue along Ben’s bottom lip, bumps their noses together and holds tight at his jaw. “ _Fiancé._ ”

And that, _that_ hits Ben right in the core of his heart, feels it twisting and thumping with emotion. He lets out a little huff of teary laughter, smiling blearily through it, breath hot against Callum’s waiting mouth. 

By the time they finally part, Ben’s lips are tingling, shiny and red. Callum’s cheeks are flushed, and the first rays of sun dance around them in ribbons of soft glow. He looks beautiful, just watching Ben with careful, cautious eyes, full of stars. That warmth buzzes through him again, oozes from his heart into his limbs and fills the whole room. Slowly, Callum reaches out and brushes Ben’s hair from his eyes.

“I’m gonna make you breakfast when we get up,” Callum says. “Full English. Or whatever’s in the cupboards.”

“You ain’t got to do that,” Ben yawns, smiling sleepily. 

“I know I ain’t, but I want to,” Callum says. “I’m spoiling you today.”

“Why?” Ben says, but it’s a mumble, eyes closing when Callum pushes his hair back again, fingertips gentle on his forehead.

“First day being fiancés, ain’t it?” Callum says, the words roll like honey off his tongue. Like poetry carved from the heart. _Ben can’t get enough of hearing it._ “It’s got to be special.” 

He’s still touching Ben’s face, almost absently now, like he’s forgotten his fingers are dragging gentle through Ben’s fringe. When Ben opens his eyes again, during the pause, Callum is watching him back, face turned into the pillow.

Ben’s eyes crinkle. “Hm. I think I could get used to this. _Fiancé._ ”

“I just—I can’t wait to marry you,” Callum whispers, pressing a soft kiss to Ben’s lips. It’s so full of feeling it makes Ben’s head spin.

“We should probably tell people we’re engaged first,” Ben laughs. “I’ll give her two hours before me Mum’s knocking the door down and demanding all the details.” 

“I’d be surprised if there’s anyone left to tell,” Callum let’s put a breathy laugh. “We did kind of make a massive fuss out of it, didn’t we?” 

“ _Hm_. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way, babe,” Ben whispers. 

“Thank you,” Callum breathes into Ben’s mouth, sincere. “For yesterday. For _everything._

“No need to thank me,” Ben says against the corner of Callum’s lips. “ _Soppy git.”_

“Let me,” Callum insists gently. “I never thought I’d find _my person_. I never thought I’d get to do this with someone I love, someone who loves _me,_ for all I am. So please let me thank you, Ben. _Please_.”

Ben stares down at him, eyes wide and soft. He arches up to kiss him again, intently and with hot pressure. 

“You’re amazing,” Callum whispers, smiling softly. His hand is still in Ben’s, a warm, familiar weight.

“So’re you,” Ben replies, just as quiet. It feels like they’re in their own little world, existing on a planet that nobody else can quite see, that nobody could ever hope to reach.

“The most special person on this whole planet,” Callum muses, the stars twinkle by the hundred in his eyes. He presses a kiss to the corner of Callum’s mouth. Callum chases after his lips when he pulls away, and they kiss delicately.

“You should put that in your vows,” Ben tilts his head up, grinning. “A five page essay about how special I am.” 

“Oh, you think so?” Callum says. “Because I was just going to throw some Ed Sheehan lyrics together, maybe add a Taylor Swift number in there too.” 

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” Ben shakes his head, then chucks himself back down on his pillow dramatically, a hand over his forehead. “Wax poetic about my cheekbones and my ocean-blue eyes, instead.” 

Callum bursts into laughter as he shakes his head, the two of them giggling together. “You’re being serious, ain’t ya?” 

“Obviously,” Ben answers, and tucks his thumbs under Callum’s chin. “And you’ve got to fit something about my arse in there at some point.”

“ _Obviously,_ ” Callum echoes. “And your massive head.”

“Don’t forget my eyelashes,” Ben flutters them rapidly, going cross eyed. 

“You’re full of yourself,” Callum laughs. “I might leave the vows to Lex, actually. She’s brilliant.” 

“ _Obvs_ ,” Ben laughs, mimicking his - _their_ \- daughter. “She really stole the show yesterday. I could barely get a word in edgeways, I think she reckoned she was the one getting engaged. _Drama Queen.”_

Callum smiles cautiously, a tiny quirk of his lips. It’s the way he always gets when they’re talking about Lexi. “Like father, like daughter.”

Ben shoves him away playfully.

There’s a moment, then, suspended, where they’re just staring at each other with blinding smiles. Ben’s entire face hurts, his eyes leaking beyond his control now, but he can’t stop it, can’t push it down. He doesn’t want to.

“You deserve the world,” Callum says suddenly. He sounds so passionate, but his eyes remain gentle. It’s telling. “You as Lex. Deserve everything.” 

“I’ve got it,” Ben drags his eyes to Callum’s own. “I’ve got it right here.”

“One day,” Callum whispers, words soft, yet cutting. “One day I’ll give you the world.”

“You already have,” Ben says, because that’s all he can say. “Kiss me,” he says, because it’s all he can do.

Their kisses are so drawn out that Ben can breathe between each swipe, a shuddery inhale that burns his chest, a shaking exhale that he pushes into the wet of Callum’s lips. 

Callum keeps carding his fingers through Ben’s hair, almost rhythmically, in time with the tilt of their heads, the fold of their lips, and Ben’s hands are shaking just from that touch alone, toes curling and uncurling over and over again when Callum’s fingers catch in a knot and he tugs, when his nails scratch electric and gentle. 

It doesn’t move past that, though. They _kiss-and-kiss-and-kiss,_ until Ben’s lips go fuzzy and numb in a way he didn’t think was possible. 

Everything is hitting him all at once, and he sees the world clearer than ever before. 

“Cal,” he breathes, trying to ground himself, heart kicking against his ribs. He finds Callum’s hip, slips his thumb under his t-shirt to touch his skin, and it’s like that touch alone creates enough of a spark to catch the bed up in a gulf of flames. Callum’s fingers curl as he gently backs Ben into the pillows, and it’s wetter, more open now, their mouths so familiar together. Ben tugs at Callum’s t-shirt gently, so overwhelmed his chest feels like it might burst when Callum brushes at his hair, over and over.

“How long?” Callum says as they part to breathe, just to breathe, their faces still pressed up close. He’s so warm, burning up under Ben’s touch and the skim of his palms over his back. “How long have you been thinking about marrying me?”

“So long,” Ben says thickly, body shifting up when Callum kisses him firmly, thumb against Ben’s jaw to part his mouth. “So fucking long.”

“I’ve always known you were it for me, y’know,” Callum breathes past his lips, muffled by another kiss. “Told your dad as much.”

“ _Ugh!_ Can we _not_ talk about my dad right now,” Ben protests, he tries to pull Callum closer again with a nudge to his hip, but Callum shakes his head lightly and just stares down at Ben in the dark, eyes pearly white. “ _Hey,_ _it’s alright.”_

Callum hums down at him, lips against his hair. “You saved my life, I think.” 

“Yeah?” he whispers. Everything feels weighty, suddenly.

“Yeah,” Callum whispers back. “Don’t know much longer I’d have lasted.”

“ _Cal_ ,” Ben says softly. His fingers find Callum’s among the sheets. He holds onto them like an anchor. “You saved mine too,” he adds, easy as honey. 

Ben feels suspended, feels like they’ve floated completely out of reality and are existing in their own time, like time may not even be real. With every shift of Callum’s body, every press of his fingers and every slick movement of his mouth, Ben feels himself sinking into the mattress, feels everything drifting away until there’s just heat and _Callum_. 

He feels himself tearing up again, and then the first little droplet slips, melting from the corner of his eye and cradling along the side of his nose. Callum brushes it away with his thumb, palm hovering over Ben’s cheek.

“Now who’s the soppy git?” Callum teases lightly.

“Love you so much,” Ben whispers then, and it's muffled against Callum’s cheek, but he knows that Callum hears, feels the intake of his breath. He dusts a trail of feather light kisses over Callum’s cheekbones. “Love you so, _so_ much.”

Callum’s hand draws back to cradle his jaw. “I love you, too. I’m so happy, Ben. So lucky to have this with you.”

“Kiss me,” Ben breathes, and it’s so, so quiet. But it’s enough. “Don’t stop kissing me.”

They reconnect, perhaps more delicate than ever before. It reminds Ben of the first time they kissed, just a gentle press of their lips before they pull back for a moment, anticipation of _more-more-more_ fills Ben’s lungs. They dip together blindly. It's every kiss they've ever shared, all at once, but flavoured with something brand new. 

_(Will you marry me?_

_Yes.)_

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sunshine callum on tumblr & sunshinecallum on twitter — come say hey and scream about last nights ep please!!!!


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